Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Baby Blues

So, I finally take my husband to one of my favorite lunch places, Nothing To It, a cooking school and all around cozy-yummy place. I've been there many, many times with friends and my mom. All that good food, coupled with the fact that you are eating in the kitchen (what could be cozier than that?) means that we always have good conversations - full of laughter and sometimes even tears.

Well, my husband and I were having a great talk -- laughing, making plans for our relatives who are visiting this weekend, discussing our darling children, when all of a sudden I climbed into myself and hid. My husband is very perceptive and asked where I went, but I am unable to answer. Without crying.

I kid you not, at the next table, the woman behind him had taken a baby out of his car seat. A very cute few week old baby, dressed in blue, with big blue eyes -- baby blues. She was holding him on her shoulder so that when I looked at my husband, all I could see was this baby's head looking right at me over his shoulder. It was unbelievable, all the sadness and longing that poured through me. It was all I could do not to grab that baby and just hug it so close....

I gritted my teeth, dug my fingernails into my palm, and told my darling husband to look behind him. He did, and I started to cry. Right there in the restaurant. Which is really just someone's kitchen, so that was ok....