Take me to your leader!

I am so sick of listening to Beethoven's Wig, I am breaking out in hives. I'll be driving along, with all the girls singing in the back, "Beethoven's Wig, it's very big..." and I start shuddering. Of course, at the same time, I love these CDs. For those who aren't familiar, there are now four CDs by Richard Perlmutter that take classical music and set it to very funny and bizarre lyrics. So this time, with Beethoven's 9th symphony playing in your head, read "Beethoven's wig, it's very big" again -- see! Very catchy - and you won't ever hear the song the same again.

My very favorite of all is what he did to Moonlight Sonata (which I loved before and now will never be able to listen to it again without hearing the words). You really have to listen to it to get it, but it is all about a car sitting in the middle of nowhere at a red light that never changes. First one car, then another, and another line up behind him, honking, "beep, beep beep." For kids it is fun, for grown-ups it is delightful because the singer says he doesn't know why they are honking at the light, but he joins in the fray. So delightfully clueless. Really, maybe you have to be there?

My next favorite is the theme from 2001 -imagine the big drums set to, "take me to your leader, take me to your leader." Perlmutter has quite the sense of humor. But I have hives.

Oh - one final note - don't you all run out and buy these - we plan to get them for all our friends with children this year for Christmas. (If you would like to opt out, just send me a note!)

Mind reader

Apparently, I am supposed to be a mind reader.  At one point at dinner, during which everyone else was trying to talk at once, Littlebug screamed at me, "Don't talk while I'm thinking!"  She then ran out of the room sobbing.  

Did I mention that she is 4?

I cannot tell you how many times I am completely baffled, enraged and generally without understanding of my children.  It is apparently impossible to get in the van, get out of the van, go brush teeth, set the table, feed the dogs, pick out a book, or turn off the t.v. without fighting!  Somebody must be first or the other blocks both sisters or whatever!  It seems to be anything.  

I'd say some of you are reading with a knowing smile, maybe even nodding, "yep, that's siblings for you..."  And then maybe a few of you are nodding and saying, "yes - what is with those kids?"  And now I will venture to guess that the former group all have siblings.  The latter are, like me, only children.  

I've told my friends and husband about some of the above mentioned drama and, while I do get sympathy, I also get that smile (sometimes annoyingly all knowing and dismissive), "oh yeah, my brother/sister and I used to fight all the time."  

Well I don't get it.  I need to read a book called "Parenting More Than One Child, Written for Only Children Who are Now Parents."  Maybe I'll write it. . . 

MA - Mom's Anonymous

Last week, a friend confessed that she loves to read true mom confessions - a place where we can all go to express our anger, fears, screw-ups, and, occasionally, joys.  This seems like a good thing to me - we need a place to go to vent or just see that others think that raising children isn't such a joy all the time.  

Today my mom gave me Anna Quindlen's "Last Word" from this week's Newsweek to read.  It is about parenting and how we all need to stop pretending that being a parent is "easy and intuitive."  She goes on to describe a couple of studies demonstrating that just having parents join a type of parenting support group can actually produce better parenting.  This makes sense, right?  If we keep all of the struggles, fights, and breakdowns to ourselves, they just build up.  As does the guilt.   But, if we talk about how hard parenting is, we will help ourselves, our children, and others.  She called it "AA for mom's:  'Hi, I'm Anna, and I repeatedly ignored demands for juice and then snapped because the whining was driving me insane.'"  Love it!

So, I'm detecting a theme here.  More and more, the conversations I have with friends - close friends that I "confess" things too -  are about how hard being a mom really is.  How it is truly, and insanely, harder than anything else we have done.  And we have all done some pretty amazing things, way (way) back when.  

I recently came across a description of parenting that was both accurate and terrifying.  So, I will share it so you too can nod, agree and then say very loudly - well now what???

"There is no harder job than parenting.  There is no human relationship with such potential for great achievement and awful destructiveness, and despite all the experts who write about it, no one has the slightest idea whether any decision will be right or best or even not-horrible for any particular child.  It is a job that simply cannot be done right."

(excerpted from Orson Scott Card's Ender in Excile, page 300)

Blogging to save my mind

Why should I blog - I'm not even on facebook; I don't text.  Yet, I am compelled to do this.  Why?   I like to say I compose blogs in my head all day, but that doesn't mean anyone should read them.  

One reason to blog is that, as a stay-at-home mom of 3 little girls, I don't get a lot of time for quiet peaceful reflection.  Or just quiet.  Or peace.  So, in theory, by writing my thoughts and ideas, my mind will get used to thinking again.  How many times each week as I make snacks, clean up accidents, and play "fun" let's-clean-up-the-toys-games do I think, "I went to law school for this???"  Of course parenting is very rewarding, blah, blah, blah -- we've all heard it before.  But that is a subject for a later blog (or many later blogs, as I'm sure the case will be).

I did a search on google for the phrase "to blog or not to blog."  It came up with 144,000 entries (in 0.33 seconds - why does google really think it needs to brag about how fast it is?  I mean really, it created a whole new verb.)  So the question of why to put one's self out there for the world to see is not a new one.  But it is a question each of us must ask and answer for ourselves.  For me, I think it is to be more myself.  And, perhaps, to touch someone with a truth seen in the same way.