In my new place, there is a red teapot, multicolored plates and bowls, one wall painted sienna, another wall blue. Wanting to surround myself with color – with life. It helps.
I’ve lost my best friend. Not lost, really. I left. The hard thing is, I felt like I had no choice but to leave. A marriage takes more than being best friends. But to actually make the decision and leave, to decide that we each deserve “more” …. So sad to see all our future dreams gone, even if we didn’t share those dreams anymore.
Made slightly easier by the fact that I was “doing” – I was the one moving, finding an apartment, scouring Craigslist for bunkbeds. He was at home, seeing his life dismantled, his wife packing, leaving – having to put a good face on things for the girls.
Throughout the day, I think about his pain and it stops me cold. I wonder how he is, but cannot ask. Space. Give him space.
Sip tea in my blue mug…