Friday, March 5, 2010


I've generally had good balance, although after the twins were born, I feel like my equilibrium is off. To carry this metaphor to it's intended place -- I am now going to embark on the balancing act of a lifetime: going back to work full time after being a stay at home mom. The ultimate high wire balancing act - the stakes are high, the potential for disaster looms, yet so does the chance to soar.

Until I chose to stay home full time after the twins were born, my self-worth was very much tied to my career. Who I was depended on what I did. Even for a time after staying at home, my self-worth was so tied. So much so that it was a very difficult time for me, self-esteem-wise, if I 'd had any time at all to really think about it. Being suddenly cut off from people I had spent 40+ hours a week with was very hard. I found it difficult to know how to make new connections or what to talk about when I did. Once we moved back home to Reno, this transition became much easier. And I was able to develop new things to excel in (one, I hope, being raising three independent minded girls!)

Now I am starting the climb up the long, long ladder to the wire in the sky - a fulfilling career outside the home. I'm still near the bottom, taking one step at a time. The prospects look exciting and scary. I am at once full of anticipation and self-doubt. When I get there, I hope to be able to look straight ahead, embracing change with strength, and not look down with regret and longing for past times.

A working mom: the ultimate high wire balancing act.


  1. What a perfect analogy! Congratulations. My kids are getting older and I still find a big chunk of my self esteem is tied to my career. I've never been able to let go of that. I've never been one to say a mother should have to perform that high wire act, but I'm compelled to want it. Healthy? Crazy? Depends on the day.

  2. Best part of that wire in the sky--you have a safety net! Great husband, supportive parents, smart, helpful children. You'll not only walk that wire, you'll probably pull a few twirls and backflips up there. Congratulations!