Hole

Hole

Dark

In this hole

I dug.

Deeper and deeper.

Why?

Gave up so much.

My own doing,

My own hands. 

Civil War

Civil War

Competing forces

Inside

One to nurture, cocoon myself

One to go crazy and fuck the world.

Balance,

I have not.

Erase

Erase

The plans, the dreams

flit into my mind.

Rub them out --

erase with my finger.

Need an app for that,

for my mind

and heart.

Falling

Falling

Delusion built the walls

Denial, the floor

Flood of reality

No footing

Falling

Liquid suspended

Liquid suspended
 
Inside

Tears run down

Filling me up.

How do I look solid outside,

When I am liquid suspended

Inside?

Blind Verity

Blind Verity

Light shines,

Blinding clarity.

What I cast aside,

So precious.

Verity, could you not see the truth?

The choice to give up, not try.

Praying to idols,

Shiny objects attract.

Blind.

Now through the darkness I see,

Verity,

What I gave up,

I collapse. 

Snap into place ...

Work in progress....don't clear the table.  Leave the puzzle out.  Move around it.  Come at it from another angle.  Maybe different lighting?

The edges are done...the center missing pieces.

Out of desperation, try something new.

Found a good fit.  A match.  Feeling better.... puzzle piece moving into place.  A very satisfying snap.

Still gaps.  Still holes.

But feeling more whole than I have in long while...